This statement, question, whatever it is meant to be, crossed my mind today, out of the blue, remembering one night my husband at the time, after being relatively emotionally absent for months, glanced over to me in bed and asked this question. I have blocked out of my mind my response but I’m sure whatever I said was accompanied by a blank stare!
I’ve always believed, even back then, that partners should not be denied one another their bodies; but damn, there is a responsibility of each partner to nurture those bodies and souls they are lusting after. And if all they want is a body, there are sex dolls that can fill that bill and serve their selfish hearts more appropriately. (After you’ve kicked his ass to the curb.)
Relationships have come along way in the last 15 years or so, seemingly more balanced and equal in the give and take of each other’s needs emotionally and physically and how it all ties together. Women have and are taking back ownership of their bodies and lives; vocally taking a stand for sexual human rights. The right, without
There are still pockets in our society of double standards and slut-shaming which I hope over the next decade will finally be removed. An ugly stain deep in our culture that needs to be lifted out. That stain a faint memory of unrighteous times that our children and grandchildren will shake their heads in wonder over the unjust behavior.
Get back to intimacy.
One of our most intimate ways of revealing ourselves to one another is in the sexual relationship. Hearts finding safely in the arms of another to find nourishment, refreshment, release and sometimes healing. A bonding of the very essence of our souls and energies. A culmination of the day to day engagement and then coming together to celebrate that bond.
If my partner ever asked, “Want to do it?” It would be with a big smile spread across his gorgeous face and a chuckle coming from his belly!
If you are among those who believe lack of sex in a relationship is the women’s ‘fault’, you may need to look at your relationship as a whole and see if you’re one of the men that use the “Want to do it?” line or something similar.
If the sexual relationship connection is not working, repair what is obviously broken. Intimacy has been diminished or shattered. Decide if this is the life you really want. Then get back to what you had at that ‘first spark’ or move along.
I’m not saying it’s never the woman’s issue, because it certainly can be. But damn it, someone in the relationship needs to step up to the plate and make a move toward more loving! Your invitation will naturally and easily flow out of the connection that has been re-established. Bountiful rewards for both!
The post “Want to Do It?” Do You Really Want an Answer? appeared first on Sexual Destinies.