Is it a reflection on our culture and society today that in many dating profiles I see the statement, “Looking for Someone Real”?
My daughter talked me into trying Tinder recently. ( l lasted less than two weeks! ) I did love the swipe left feature and tended to use it more than anything. I was amazed at how many people are on that damn thing! Wow! And yes, people have actually met on that site and succeeded in a relationship. It was entertaining for a while and good window shopping when you just want to unwind and be thoughtless. But I also have FetLife that acts as a great distraction when I need one and it fits my life far better than anything mainstream society is able to throw together. But alas my time with Tinder was short lived because my faith in the depth of humanity was greatly being affected as it is with most dating sites I’ve tried over the years. Hook-ups, unavailable men and fake profiles being the main theme.
I do feel I’m at a disadvantage because I’m upfront about being an erotic writer. So naturally any man I start having a conversation with slowly shifts the subject to sexuality and it’s hard to step back to square one. And I don’t mind. The subject of sexuality is a majority of my thought process and life. It seeps into every conversation either in my own mind or with the man, if that door is open. The questions start flowing and I’m now a counselor, teacher, healer etc. instead of a woman the man just met. My main surprise was their excitement that I’m genuine, safe, open and REAL.
Which brings me to the topic of the writing. “Looking for Someone Real”. What has happened to our society/culture that most have disconnected from one another and wear a mask and behavior that is not their own?
On a dating site, it’s easy to jump from one person to another if something doesn’t quite fit and it seems most are looking for passion, excitement, thrills, and frills without any building of trust, respect, a commitment and the hard work that goes into a relationship. It’s a ‘drive through’ culture wanting their ‘Sexual Happy Meal’ and then on to the next convenient ‘Take Out’ when their appetite surfaces once more.
“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.” ~ Charles Bukowski
This quote by Charles Bukowski speaks volumes to me, “…terrorized and flattened by trivialities…”
Is that the problem? People are terrorized by a commitment and our culture answered this problem by building a mechanism that keeps people blind and numbly satisfied by trivialities.
I’m hungry.
I’m hungry for connection with a man who possesses a depth of soul, is fearless, emotionally available, confident in himself and won’t run to the next ‘Happy Meal’ because we had a bad day together or a misunderstanding in a conversation.
I have high expectations … I’m worth it! I bring a hell of a lot to the table!
~ Vista
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